Date and Time: Late Saturday night into Sunday morning in mid-May
Usually I don't write about things that happen on nights out or at bars, because they are all the same. Same people drinking the same drinks getting into the same old antics. But at the end of this past semester, it seems like everyone just lost their minds and complete ridiculousness occurred.
For the sake of protecting people's identities (and integrities), I won't name names or use any of their actual initials. It seemed like an average night at the IB, out with the girls, maybe a person or two celebrating a birthday. The femme-fatale-of-friends that I have, and myself, were dancing in a dark corner together. We were in good, protective, company as my next door neighbor who was coined by my housemate as "Papi Chulo" was at his post right by us (he's a bouncer at the IB). We're hanging out with PC when we see a friend of ours coming around. This friend, Dapper Dude we shall call him, was obviously VERY drunk. He was also obviously celebrating what was a VERY happy birthday.
Now, we have never seen him dance before. At least not well. And I'm afraid we never will. Regardless, he was getting his uncoordinated groove on with a girl who unlike most other frequenters of the IB, danced very well. They seemed to be enjoying themselves, and we were very much amused. But the amused soon turned into a moment of dumbfoundedness.
Friend 1: WHOA! Look at DD go!
Friend 2: And Girl with Skills!
Myself: MTO would definitely classify this as NSFW.
Friend 1: Who's this other girl coming up from the side?
Friend 2: I don't know, pero se ve mucho muy busted.
Myself: Damn, yeah that's rough. I've seen her around. I know she likes DD.
(watching intently)
Friend 1: Wait, is she--
Friend 2: --trying to swagger jack--
Myself: --WHILE HE'S GETTING DUBBED ON BY ANOTHER CHICK?
While DD and GwS were, well, interacting, another girl went over to DD and they began to make out! While DD is STILL dancing with GwS!
Collective: NUH-UHHHHHHHHHHHH!
Friend 1 (in high-pitched voice): Oh my God no he didn't! >GASP<>
Friend 2: That's nasty! That other chick's face looks like a pizza!
Myself: That's-- oh damn that's wrong.
Friend 2: It's true!
GwS turns around and takes notice, and walks away for a minute. Surprisingly, she's cool as a cucumber. My friends and I get back to minding our own business. DD is still sucking face with the Swagger Jacker. We're about to leave, and leave DD to his own devices, when GwS comes back. And this time, she brought some friends. The three of us stopped, as I'm sure we all wondered the same thing: What is going on?
GwS began dancing with her friends, close enough to DD so that he would see her with her friends. One of GwS's friends got his attention, and he turned his face away from SJ's long enough to get GwS in his sights. And, that's when the next, and even more meritted collected response happened.
>SNUFFED<
DD SNUFFED SJ out of the way, to get back to GwS!
COLLECTIVE (and much louder): NUH-UHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!
We, as well as GwS's group of friends, SJ, and any other passerbys, stood with our mouths agape. We couldn't believe what we just saw! Did somebody actually snuff somebody else? Did blatant rejection just occur in front of our very eyes? Twice?? Was an attempted swagger-jacking an uber FAIL?
The moment of "the snuff" carried the weight of the dreams of a crush being shattered, an ego being restored, and a boy's birthday wish well on it's way to being fulfilled. Case in point, DD and GwS quickly left the IB very soon after being reunited.
Friend 1 (shouts to DD): Where are you going!
DD: Don't worry about it!
Myself: Be safe!
DD: What's safe?
Friend 2: Oh boy.
Wherever those two crazy kids ended up going, I know they weren't in the safety of the pizza place.
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